This week in class, I laughed quietly to myself at one point during the lecture. People around me assumed I was not paying attention and watching funny youtube videos or something, but in reality the lecture reminded me of a funny story.
Zack was a linebacker on my high school football team. He was small, but had perfect form. He also had great discipline and was very coachable, but that’s mostly beside the point. Our sophomore year, Zack almost got kicked out of games because he was flagged four (4) times for… sideline violations.
Sideline warnings are about the most pointless penalty you can get. Most other penalties, though bad, will help the team if gone unflagged (that’s called cheating, though). However, sideline warnings and penalties are pure carelessness. The coaches generally just yelled at him, but after the fourth time, he got yanked aside. I happened to be there to hear the conversation:
COACH: Are you stupid? Stay behind the line.
ZACK: I did! I never stepped on the field!
COACH: Are you stupid?
It went on like this for some time. Zack was not stupid; he’s actually a brilliant math student. But the coach asked him if he was stupid about a dozen times before they communicated that there was a second line to stay behind–a team box, rather than just staying off the field. But because our colors were maroon and grey, the maroon team box was completely undistinguishable by Zack, who was deuteranopically color-blind. It wasn’t a big deal in any of the games in which he was flagged, so the coaches were able to laugh about it with him, but the whole team was assigned to making sure he stayed in the right place on the sidelines.
And, for the record, I’m jealous of synesthesiacs. Duke Ellington, Leonard Bernstein, and Pharell Williams are all confirmed synesthesiacs (according to the American Synesthesia Association). I’ve read interviews where John Mayer claims to be one, too. Jimi Hendrix made claims that music made him see colors, but that might also be attributable to the MASSIVE AMOUNTS OF HALLUCINAGENS that he absorbed through pores his temples in his famous bandanas.
Tags: color blindness, deuteranopia, synesthesia
